It is happening....

Our baby girls are ready to meet their daddy and papa.......

It is today!!

36 weeks

It is 36 weeks. Babies weigh almost 6 pounds and are gaining an ounce a day. S is feeling quite large and her feet have been swelling. We can't imagine what she is going through right now. It just sounds miserable. She mentioned having more contractions and they start to feel different. It really can be any day now. She keeps saying that her goal is to carry the twins to at least 37 weeks so they won't need to spend any time in the hospital after they are born. She has been doing an amazing job and we are only one week away from full term.  

Here is the 36 week video

Are you ready?

When we started the blog, the baby ticker said 229 days. It now says 30 days. As we get close to the delivery, many have asked us this question. Are you ready? The more we got asked and thought about it each time, the more we have become unsure what "ready" really means.

If it means baby stuff that we need to have, then yes. We have been busy getting them that almost every website, video, class and everyone says we need - two cribs, two car seats, a double stroller, two swings, two bouncer seats, bottles, bibs, books, a musical mobile, toys, towels and blankets, lots of colorful clothes spread over 12 months, and the list goes on. In fact, our babies have gotten so many clothes. We probably will need to change their clothes fast in the first few weeks so they get some time in all of them. Also, boxes of baby wipes and diapers are starting piling up. Not only do we have the stuff but also a pediatrician eager to see them and four classes - 2 twins preps, infant care and CPR under our belt. Finally, the house is tidy for them to grow. Our bags are packed. As soon as we get the call that S is in labor, we are ready to be on our way in no time.


Are we ready? I guess we are.

We are only days away from the end of this surrogacy journey which we started a few years back. We are also days away from two of us to a family of four after more than 20 years of being childless. It makes me teary just to think about it. This is it,  the moment that we have been longing and waiting for which seems like a lifetime. So are we ready? Hmm..maybe not.

In a split second, I thought we are so not ready to march toward the finish line. Although the journey involves constant worries, it has been mesmerizing and unforgettable. We cheer each milestone and continue to be amazed by S and her growing belly. We have truly enjoyed the experiences and all of these are soon to become lifelong memories. It is scary to think that our life is going to change forever in the second babies are born and turn into feeding, diaper change, and all the routines that come with parenthood.

So what was I thinking? We have been waiting to meet our girls and hold them in our arms for a long time. Then I realize...how could we really prepare and be ready for the moment like these?

The moment when our girls make their grand entry into this world?
...when we hold them in our arms?
...when our eyes meet for the first time?
and when they are home and eventually one day calling us "daddy" and "papa"?

As we are only days from becoming daddy and papa, our emotions are all over the place and anticipation is too high to bear. For weeks, I have avoided watching any birth video because I cry for each one of them. There is no way we could be ready and prepare ourselves for all these moments to come. Perhaps being unprepared is the most thrilling part as this journey culminates to its finale. Although it has been overwhelming to go through surrogacy and to get things in order, we are now looking forward to being unprepared for the day our girls are born. In fact, it is going to be the proudest underprepared moment of our life.

Are we ready? I think we are. When our babies are ready, they will let us know.

Now get your tissues ready for this video.



10 things all dads-to-be must know

Appointment update

We had an appointment yesterday for biophysical and non-stress test. We couldn't attend but were able to see the ultrasound via Skype. Both babies were not very active so S had to change her position a few times to wake them up. They did move a little and we could see them breathing. Their heartbeats are 146 and 143. It is always amazing to see them on the screen. S is doing great as well.

Both babies are still breech. We keep hoping that they will turn. Next appointment will be March 26 which will mark 36 weeks and 5 days. We will see what happens.

It is so close yet so far away. 

We went to a CPR class last night. We hope we will never have to apply what we've learned. It has been interesting to see how others react when they see two dads-to-be. Our experiences have been very positive. There is no shortage of support and excitement from others.

35 weeks and 35 days to go

Another week has gone by and here comes 35 weeks. The twins measure about 18.2 inches long and weigh almost 5.5 pounds, roughly the weight of a honeydew melon. Although babies are considered premies until 37 weeks, 99 percent of babies born at week 35 survive without any major complications. S joked about carrying the twins to full term or even past due date because all her past pregnancies have been that way. It seems that we may be heading to that direction.

As it gets closer to the delivery, S now has a weekly check-up. There will be biophysical profile and nonstress test this coming Monday and we are anxiously waiting for the results. Plus, we will know if babies have turned their heads down.

All the stuff that we think we need are in place. A pediatrician is lined up and infant CPR class is scheduled this coming Monday. We are only a few weeks away from making our dream come true. It is exciting and nerve wrecking which is impossible to concentrate on anything else. 

   

Our deepest condolences

We are extremely saddened to learn that S grandmother passed away. We are terribly sorry for her loss.

S - We understand the difficult decision you had to make and how much it would mean to be with family in time of grief. But you can't be with your family because of our family. We are forever indebted to your sacrifice for making sure this journey continues according to our plan. Our hearts go out to you and your family.

With much love and sympathy for your great loss. 

Ultrasound update - 34 weeks 2 days

Doctor's appointment and ultrasound went well. Both babies were measured right on target. Their weight were estimated about 5 lb 3 oz and 5 lb 4 oz and heartbeats were 145 and 143. We could even see hair on their heads. S is doing an incredible job. Even with her huge belly bump, she was moving around just like she used to in the past few months. We are really impressed and blessed.

The not-so-encouraging news is that both babies are still breech. The clinic has mentioned about possibility of a c-section. Let's just hope whatever it turns out to be - all are safe and sound. The clinic will continue to monitor the babies' position in the next two weeks. 

It feels surreal that our next visit will likely to be delivery. I think we have enough ultrasound photos and can't wait to have our twins photos. 

Many hotel nights

In about an hour, we are heading to another doctor's appointment. We have lost counts on how many hotel nights we have stayed in the past few months. The exciting part is that each night makes it closer to meet our girls. Our next hotel stay could be delivery! We can't wait to see them again and are anxious to know what positions they have turned into this time. We met S and her family last night for dinner. It is always nice to spend some time with them and also our little girls right in that huge belly.

We made it to 34 weeks!

34-week has always been stuck in our mind since early pregnancy. The hospital where we plan to deliver and where the midwives from the birthing center for prenatal care have privileges to attend birth doesn't have NICU and won't take birth under 34 weeks. If it happened, we had to go to another hospital which we all wanted to avoid. We are so glad to make the 34-week mark. It is a significant milestone and we can breath a little bit easier during the final count down. Each baby measures about 17.7 inches and weighs almost 5 pounds. I have a handwritten note from 6 weeks. They only weighed 7.3 and 7.4 ounces. It is amazing to see how much they have grown. So is S belly. It is really big.

Having babies via gestational surrogacy doesn't give us the chance to see the day-to-day changes in a growing belly and to truly experience the pregnancy. It is probably our greatest regret but is a compromise we have to make. Fortunately, we have been able to attend doctor's appointments almost monthly to witness the changes and growth. Plus, our close contact with S and the weekly YouTube pregnancy videos have helped us a lot. We are leaving for the doctor's appointment scheduled this coming Monday in a few hours. It could actually be the last appointment that we could attend before birth.

Interestingly, one way we are experiencing the changes and growth in the third trimester of this pregnancy is the number of baby items that have arrived for our twins in the past few weeks. It started with little - a few shopping bags, then a few boxes here and there, and gradually culminated in a flood of adorable, colorful, and thoughtful baby stuff from family and friends. Also, our nesting instinct started kicking in the past few weeks. Hubby and I have spent significant amount of time thoroughly cleaning and organizing the house. It wasn't even this clean and organized when we moved in a few years ago. Seeing their stuff in places around the house is incredible.

p.s. I absolutely adore the baby swings. They make me sleepy just by looking at them swinging. I wish there was an adult size for me so I could be in the swing with our babies.

Paternity DNA testing

One of nuisances with gestational surrogacy for same-sex married couples is the lack of legal uniformity. In the US, when a legally married couple has a child, they are both automatically presumed to be the legal parents of the child. However, it only applies to heterosexual couples mostly, even in many states where same-sex marriage is legal. If we didn't have a pre-birth court order to establish our parentage, S and her husband (both without any biological linkage to the babies) would presumably be the legal parents and their names would be on the babies' birth certificate. No question will be asked.

Although S resides in a state where same-sex marriage became legal a few months ago, our marriage is still not as equal as heterosexual marriages in the case of birth certificate. Under the state code, we can only have the biological father's name on the birth certificate. Because our babies have different biological dads, we need to do paternity DNA testing to prove our biological link to each baby so that birth certificate can be issued accordingly. It will be a certificate of only one biological parent for one baby. In other words, neither one of us has legal custody of both babies. Our marriage has no relevance and means nothing in that state. We will have to adopt each other's baby after we return to our state. Then, our family will be legally protected everywhere in the US with the adoption paper. If we are truly equal as a married couple, both of our names would be on our babies' birth certificates as legal parents just like all married heterosexual couples and a pre-birth order of parentage should suffice. Last month, a married lesbian couple in Indiana sued the state for a similar matter on the birth certificate so that they can have their names on their son's birth certificate. It just shows that marriage equality still needs some progress.

For those same-sex couples considering gestational surrogacy, the laws are murky. Do thoroughly check the state laws where you live and where the surrogate lives and will deliver the baby. It will have a significant impact on parental rights. Having said that, we are optimistic that things will get better in the near future and soon our family will be just as equal as everyone's.

Okay, my rant is over! Moving on.....

We had an appointment with the first pediatrician yesterday. It was a fun and informative visit. Everyone was very excited and welcoming. They all can't wait to meet our baby girls. We have two more appointments to go.

Tomorrow is a BIG Amazon delivery day! 58 items from our baby registry are on their way. It is unbelievable how much our baby girls will have!