Pre-birth order and birth certificate

Forewarning - This is gonna be a not-so-fun post. Pretty much all legal matters are not.

As we quickly approach second trimester, we have begun to work on the pre-birth order for the babies. As intended parents, a pre-birth order declares to the world that we are the babies' legal parents, despite the fact that neither one of us gives birth to them. The court order also directs the hospital where the babies are born and the appropriate state department of vital records to place the our names on the birth certificate.

A pre-birth order is important for a number of reasons: it gives the intended parents sole access to the child; gives them the right to make medical decisions for the child; resolves issues relating to insurance coverage; allows parents to take their child home from the hospital; and provides piece of mind for the intended parents. Without a birth order (pre or post), intended parents may need to go through adoption to establish legal parentage and adopt their own children.

States differ in their approaches to pre-birth order. It is important to check surrogacy laws and pre-birth order when matching with a surrogate, especially for same-sex couples. Luckily, the state where babies will be delivered permits pre-birth order and the hospital we talked to even has placed two dads' names on the birth certificate. It could potentially save us another step to do second parent adoption after we bring the babies home.

If only one of us (the biological dad's name) is on the birth certificate, we will have to do second parent adoption in which we each adopt the other's biological child after we bring the babies home. Even though we are married, our marriage is not legally recognized in all states. Only court orders could protect our family and be recognized everywhere.

Sounds complicated? Yes. My brain even hurts as I try to write about it. Anyhow...wish us good luck!